It’s natural to want your children to have what you didn’t have or to have more of what you had growing up. However, if this overrides your focus for your children to be more than you were you might just miss what you are really after. Raising your children to be more than you were is also not straight forward. Wanting them to be more than you were means wishing them to be more like you in some ways and less like you in other ways. Let’s face it – you are only going to want your child to be more like you if you label that part of yourself as positive. The reverse stands true too. You won’t want your children to be more like the parts of yourself you label as negative.
Let’s say you perceive yourself as being too vocal, in that you speak your mind too readily and it caused you a relationship or two along the way. If you label this being negative you will live in conscious or subconscious fear of your child becoming this way. So naturally any time your child’s behavior resembles that in even the slightest way, you will have a tendency to react with negative feedback or at the very least close your heart to them. I assure you this is being felt by your children, can distance your child and may result in your child feeling he or she can’t be themselves. Similarly, if you label a part of your personality as being positive, such as you are a good listener, again you will live in fear – this time consciously or subconsciously – of your child NOT becoming this way or not being this way enough.
If you can face the labels you have given yourself, you will not only open up to loving all of yourself, you will free yourself from managing the behaviors and attitude of your child and let them just be.
Unconditional self-love and love for your children creates a condition whereby this fear vanishes. If you love yourself the way you are and the way you were, embracing both the positive and negative aspects of who you are, you not only open up to freely being yourself, but you also give your child permission to do the same.
So it is not just about your child having more of what you haven’t nor being more of what you weren’t, it’s also about giving your child more unconditional love so they can be who they were meant to.
For more on the power of breaking labels and the steps required to do so precisely and permanently visit droudi.com/coaching.